You know how it is!

In an effort to unfurl life’s oyster, you happen to chance on the two-year-old whose only purpose in life is to annoy you by repeating the word ‘Why”.

“It’s time for bed”

“why”

“Because otherwise you’ll be tired”

“why”

“Becuase your body needs rest”

“why”.

“So it can grow up strong and healthy”

“why”

You get the picture.

Anyway it occurred to me that adults can be just as annoying – so I started to heat seek as many ways to annoy people as possible.

If you have any more feel free to join the forum – or worse still would like to employ the tactics, just feel free.

1. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of “Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip…”
2. Speak only in a “robot” voice.
3. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
4. Make appointments for September 31.
5. Sniffle incessantly.
6. Leave your turn signal on.
7. Name your dog “Dog.”
8. Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what YOU think.”
9. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your “astronaut training.”
10. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a “real hoot.”
11. Practice making fax and modem noises.
12. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
13. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
14. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you’ll be saying more any moment.
15. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
16. Call out random numbers while someone is counting.
17. Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.
18. Set alarms for random times.
19. Honk and wave to strangers.
20. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

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